Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
