Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
