thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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