Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
