Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
