from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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