in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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