The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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