Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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