I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize