Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
