Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
