I am in a vortex of obligation.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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