i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
