God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
