hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
