i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
