True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
