If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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