k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
