yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
