im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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