I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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