you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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