She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Alive.
So much puke
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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