Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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