I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
