The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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