I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
