My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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