I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
