just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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