he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
handjob tips. give me some.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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