I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
