The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My balls are so social today.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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