as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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