I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
