Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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