I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
