I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
