she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
