i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
