How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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