I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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