my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
