I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
