when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
