He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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