I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
