Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
