My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
