i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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