we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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