she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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