theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Someone came in the potted fern
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
