video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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