we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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