so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
