Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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