i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
