Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
