i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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