There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
