Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize