pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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