it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
